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How To Stop Getting Stuck In Your Head (Email #4)

How’s it going?

Dean again.

Ever get paralyzed with too much social skills advice?

Where you’re trying to remember THIS phrase and THAT body language tactic…

But instead of impressing people, you only get more stuck in your head?

I’ve found this is a common side effect of the typical approach to improving socially.

The one where you’re supposed to learn it ALL…

Affirmations, meditation, body language postures, power words, conversation questions, you name it.

Two problems here:

  1. These strategies give marginal, inconsistent results at best.
  2. The very fact you have SO many suggestions of what to do paralyzes you.

The answer isn’t MORE new techniques.

The answer is to focus on LESS.

Remember Mr. Miagi? From the Karate Kid?

(The original movie from the 80’s. Not the remake.)

What was his first Karate lesson to Daniel Son?

Wax on Wax off, right?

Daniel was instructed to wax Mr. Miagi’s car ON (circular motion in one direction). Then to wax OFF (circular motion in the opposite direction).

Mr. Miagi had Daniel do MANY household chores like this.

Paint the fence, sweep the floor…

Now Daniel was pretty upset. Because he wanted to learn Karate. NOT be a janitor.

So after weeks of this, Daniel complains. And he gets FULL ON attacked.

Mr. Miagi throws swift punches and kicks at him.

But Daniel isn’t knocked out.

Without thinking, Daniel effortlessly blocks the strikes.

Every one.

How was this possible since Mr. Miagi apparently wasn’t teaching him Karate?

That’s right, grasshopper.


Wax on Wax off was the basic circular motion of blocking a strike.

Likewise, the other exercises focused on different defensive maneuvers.

And because Daniel had FOCUSED on each move individually (and repeatedly), he MASTERED each. So that when he needed them, they automatically worked together and came to his aid.

It was instinct.

He didn’t have to think about it.

Now sure, The Karate Kid was just a movie.

But focused exercises are how SERIOUS results happen EVERY day in the real world.

REAL martial artists use them (katas).

NASA astronauts use them (drills).

High-level IMPROV performers use them (games).

And it works for building confidence and social skills like freakin’ magic.

This is how I’ve been helping people overcome shyness for years.

You focus on ONE, maybe two, (high-impact) social skills and confidence mindsets at a time. That way you don’t get overwhelmed.

You also sharpen the skill. To the point it automatically works for you in conversations.

Hey, Bruce Lee said it best:

“I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks. I fear the man who has practiced 1 kick 10,000 times.”

Although Bruce was pretty hard-core…

…so luckily, you don’t have to practice social exercises anywhere near 10,000 times to start seeing massive results… Lol.

Also, you don’t have to already be confident to use this route.

It “scales” to your level of confidence and skills.

In other words, you adjust it to YOUR comfort zone. So you no longer get overcome with nervousness trying a technique that’s TOO intimidating.

I mean, when I first started doing this, I was clueless socially. Afraid to talk to anyone I didn’t already know.

Within weeks I was approaching new people with no trouble. 

So can you.

It’s not difficult.

The “tricky” part is fixing the hidden psychological glitch that causes insecurity. Instead of just treating the surface symptoms like the common wisdom suggests.

Well that’s what my Perception Patterning Method ™ is all about.

(More on this tomorrow…)

Time for a change.

Time for a different input (think Albert Einstein), which will produce a different output (result)…

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”

Think about it…

Using focused exercises has the almost magical ability to melt “not knowing what to say” and social nervousness.

Because when you layer in simple social skills exercises with Perception Patterning…

You have a devastatingly powerful charisma generating process.

That’s what I teach within Fearless Flow. And have been since the first release back in 2014.

It’s filled with the exact type of exercises I described above. So you don’t have to come up with them on your own.

It’s my full step by step training program that has allowed students to connect with new friends at will.

Like Duke here… 

Duke H Fearless Flow Review

(Click to Enlarge)

If you’re interested in getting access today, go here:

Details: Fearless Flow Conversation Skills Course

See you on the inside.

More tomorrow, as usual.


P.S. – It’s important to note, the kind of confidence and skills I’m talking about building thru exercises are incredibly flexible.

So they work for connecting with one or two close new friendships…

Or huge social groups like this…

tubing trip 50+

(That’s me under the arrow.)

I mention this because I know each person wants something different from gaining total confidence and people skills.

So just know you can use these new “powers” to build whatever type of social life YOU want.

That’s important.

So if you haven’t already thought about what your ideal social life would look like. Now is as good a time as any.


Create The Social Life Of Your Dreams 

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